Turning Your Biggest Setback Into Your Greatest Comeback
In this episode we hear from Tiffany Huff from The Bounce Back Blueprint. Tiffany shares her story on how she went from writing resumes to coaching, but not before hitting rock bottom and going through what most people couldn't even imagine. Tiffany discusses how her addiction to achievement stopped her from seeing reality and led her to being homeless and bankrupt. She shares how she found her true self and recovered from her setbacks - turning it into her greatest comeback. And now she helps women do the same. She also shares how having a "POWER" morning can radically transform your life and set you up for big success. Join us for a very inspiring episode where we talk about the phases of trusting in God, letting God mend the whole you and two things you need to do before you create a to do list and so much more.
You can find Tiffany on socials as @thetiffanyhuff or her website https://tiffanyhuffexperience.com/
Prefer to read the interview? No worries Mumma, here’s the full transcription.
Welcome back to the wholesome mumma show. And boy, Oh boy. Do I have a beautiful conversation and story today for us? So Tiffany Huff-Strothers, who I've had the privilege of getting to know over the last few months, and I know that as she shares her story with you, it's going to bless you so much. It's a real raw story that has a lot in it. And I feel very honoured and privileged to be able to bring this conversation with you. But first, a little bit about Tiffany. So she is a wife, mother, and woman of faith, and she's called to minister and mentor women. And she's super passionate about helping women reinvent themselves, following their worst setbacks, find their voices and build businesses with their stories. And so she's going to talk about how she did that for herself and how now she's doing that for other people, but affectionately known as your bounce back guide, Tiffany lives on her calling as an evangelist award winning all thought sought after speaker, coach and the host of the bounce back blueprint podcast, just a bit of a disclaimer coming into the story.
There is mentioning of abuse, divorce and a few things like that. So just come into it with an open heart. And if you are in a circumstance where maybe that is a bit triggering for you, or you're not ready to hear someone else talk about their story through it, then that's just a little warning for you. But I know that Tiffany brings her story with such beauty and such honour and glory to God that for so many women who have, and maybe are going through things that she has experienced, I know that this is going to really bless and help you through these times. So let's get into it.
Elyse:
Well, Tiffany, thank you so much for coming on the wholesome mumma show. I'm so excited to have you here with us today.
Tiffany:
Thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited to be here. I'm honored to have some space and time to chat with you.
Elyse:
So good. So before we get into today's episode, would you mind, first of all, just telling us a little bit more about you where you're from, who's in your family and what you do.
Tiffany:
So I'm from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. So in the United States and it is winter here, even though I know you can go to the beach, I am, I'm married and I have two sons and two bonus daughters, all of whom are teenagers. So we a 10th grader, a ninth grader, a 10th grader, an 11th grader. And we have a one who's a freshman in college and I am by God's trade and evangelist. But I do my work as an evangelist through writing. So I'm a published author. I'm a podcaster like you and I coach and have a course for women around, you know, reclaiming your life after you've had a traumatic experience or a setback. So that's it in a nutshell.
Elyse:
So, I'm excited to get into really delving in how you came to be a coach and a mentor for women who have gone through a big setback. So can you tell us a little bit of your story of what you went through leading up to, you know, cause I'm sure I'll obviously you've had a setback and a challenge that you've overcome to then create this awesome brand. Can you share with us that story?
Tiffany:
Yes, absolutely. So I will say before I even had anything challenging happened to me, I was always the go-to person to help people write resumes. So whether they lost their jobs or they needed new jobs, whatever the case was, I'm not, I don't remember how I became the designated person, but it was always, I was the go-to for like friends and then family and then friends of friends and family. And so it just grew and I was actually doing life coaching when I was helping people to write their resumes. Right. I would talk them through it and ask them about their experiences and what else they had to contribute beyond the duties of their jobs. So that was kind of like the planting of the seed. And that started very early, like from high school through college and every now and then I still have somebody call me and say, can you help with my resume?
But when I was going into my senior year in high school, I fell in love and it was a whirlwind relationship. We were together for about 10 years before we were even 30 years old. And very early on in the relationship, there were red flags that it was an abusive relationship emotionally, mentally, and, you know, as it went on, as it progressed, it was physically abusive as well. But I had on Rose coloured frames. So I didn't see the redness of the flags or I ignored them or I explained them away and people ask me a lot of times why I stayed so long. And the of it for me at least was that I was groomed that no matter what I wanted, I could have it. As long as I worked hard, I could accomplish anything. I could be anything. And it had rung true for me my entire life.
I made good grades. My mom always said, if you make good grades, you'll get a scholarship and you'll go to college and you'll get a good job. And all of those things happen. There was nothing that I did that or that I attempted to do that I did not do well. And so I became addicted to achievement. And so when I got into this relationship and things started taking a turn for the worst, I could not wrap my mind around how I could not do this relationship. Well, I had done everything else well. And so I was blinded by that. And ultimately my drive for achievement and success led to you know, not, not just me on my own, but my drive for achievement and his success and his challenges together, the relationship ended very tumultuous and the abbreviated version of the story that I ended up shot by him on the, on the end of the relationship when I was just like, I've had enough, I'm tired of succumbing to this.
I don't want to live like this anymore. Our children deserve better. I have to make a change. This is not the life God created me for. And obviously he did not agree. He broke into my house one night and we got into to a tug of war with a gun because I looked into his eyes and I could see that he was not, he was drunk or he was high. And I was just like, if I don't do something, he's going to kill me. And I kind of just went off instinct and we got into a tug of war with a gun and I got it in my hands. I always say all of the moments of watching those movies, like on lifetime when the woman does something stupid and you're like, why did she do that? That was me. And so by the time I realised that I had the gun, he realised that I had the gun and he grabbed it back.
It didn't have a safety on it. And so when he grabbed the back, he pulled it from the trigger and he shot me. And I ended up on the floor and fast forward, of course I, like I said, we were in this relationship for nearly a decade. So there was really nowhere I could go that he didn't know. He knew all of my friends, he knew of my family. And so I was in the hospital under an alias because he wasn't apprehended immediately. And then when I came home, I really was dealing with PTSD and I didn't feel safe anywhere. So I ended up in a emergency domestic violence shelter. And at the time my children were very young. My youngest son was just shy of his first birthday. And my older son was a little more than two years old. And so it was very traumatic because I found myself almost overnight going from, you know, having quote unquote, everything to feeling like I had nothing.
And so in that, in that year, I became homeless. I was having to learn to walk again with my youngest son. I was overweight. I filed bankruptcy. So I was like at the lowest of the low. And so I, once I was physically able, once I gotten back on my feet, I went from like having a wheelchair, to having a Walker, to having crutches. And then when I got to the point where I'm like, okay, I need to get my life back. I need to go to work. You know, all of the things, I couldn't find a job. I felt like everyone had seen me on the news and nobody wanted to hire me. And so I have family in North Carolina and I have family in Georgia. And my dad was like, why don't you, you know, get away and take some time for yourself.
So I had a minivan and I packed up my minivan with my two babies and we moved to North Carolina and it was there that I was able to get to know Tiffany, because I had gone from so long to being like the smart one in the family, to them being his girlfriend, to them being, you know, my boys, mom, there was never any time really for me to figure out who I was, but in North Carolina, because it was me and the boys and the boys and me, I had that time that I needed to really come into myself. And also while I was there, I had my first encounter with God. And it just, it just changed everything. But, you know, part of what was very integral in my recovery beyond that encounter that I had with God was that I was, I was calling on him because I did not know what else to do.
Like when your life is in shambles, to the extent that like you have two children, one of whom cannot walk. Right. And you have nothing. Like I said, I had filed bankruptcy. I was severely overweight. I was just like in a really, really bad place. And it was just so overwhelming because there were so many things that needed to be fixed. There was so much that needed to get better. And I can remember waking up in that shelter and just being like, I can't believe this is my life. Like, what can I do? Like what do I even have enough control over that I can make a difference. And that's kind of, you know, the precipice for a lot of the work that I do because I had to get to the point where I could see like what on the lowest level can I do and be successful at it so that I can build some momentum to be able to do the next thing and the next thing and the next thing, hopefully that was an abbreviated version of a very long story.
Elyse:
Wow, Tiffany, that is an incredible story. You've come through so much. And I love when you when you were talking about, you know, your life being in a shambles in so many way, and then you had this encounter with God, how beautiful is it to discover the grace of God that he wants to mend that and not just mend some of it, he wants to mend all of it. So fast forwarding to the last few years where you started the bounce back blueprint. I said that. Right, right. It's great. I love it. Because it's so it's so needed because I think that there's so many women out there maybe who don't have that extravagant of a story, but that have absolutely gone through setbacks and challenges and don't know how to come back from there. So can you take us through how you started that and, and really why and what happened, what was happening in your life then when you decided, hang on, I need to share this. I need to help other women.
Tiffany:
So I want to be completely transparent about a few things. The first is that like so many other women who have setbacks, especially if you have children, even though we know there's more healing that we need to do, we get into autopilot and we try to accomplish the things that the world tells us are most important, right? When you're in a 30 day domestic violence shelter, you don't have time to rebuild your life. You have 30 days to find somewhere to go. So you're on autopilot, right? You're like, let me get the job. Let me find somewhere to live, let me make the money. And so a lot of times the healing or the, the rebuilding of yourself from the inside out doesn't happen. And so while I was able to move forward, I really didn't begin fully rebuilding. Until, like I said, I had that encounter, but then I moved back home to Pittsburgh and fast forward, my father ended up getting very sick and I had to take care of him.
And then he died. And that was like the straw that broke the camel's back. It like broke me down again. And even before that happened, I started doing some entrepreneurial things. But when my dad got sick, everything kind of just went crazy, right. Again, no control. And he was like, my very best friend. He was also very integral in my relationship with God. And so when I lost him, it was just like the, the wind got knocked out of me. And I went into a really deep depression. I started having panic attacks, had to get on medicine, all of the things. And so not long after he died, God started waking me up at like three in the morning, four in the morning. And I would be in the bed, at least having panic are having temper tantrums, like literally kicking my feet and saying, please just let me get some sleep.
You know? And it started happening so often that I got up. So I had this little space in my house. It's in the attic. It's like my space where I pray, where I was working. And so I went up there and I will go up there and I'll be like, all right, I'm up? Like, what is it that you have to say, because I want to go back to sleep, you know? And what ended up happening was that regularly I was getting up at three and four and five in the morning and going up there and literally crying and praying for him to let me go back to sleep. Literally, this was not glamorous at all. And so what started to happen though, was the habit was forming that I was meeting him very early in the morning and I was praying. And after a while those prayers stopped being, let me go back to sleep.
And I just was communing with him and the intimacy between the two of us grew. And then I started to journal while I was up there. And I started, you know, having moments of stillness and quiet time and praying and hearing his voice and what that did. Elise was created the space for me to hear very clearly from him about the purpose and a lot of the things that I had experienced. And re-igniting in me that fire that I would thought I was building before my father died. And that's kind of how the journey began. He started pouring, literally pouring things into me. And I started pushing them out. When I was in that shelter, I had give, been given this legal pad and I was telling all of the ladies that were in the shelter with me, like, I'm going to write a book about this one day.
And I had that legal pad and we would, something would happen. And they would be like, Tiffany, did you write that down? And I let everybody pick an alias name. Like it was serious, but in the moment I just said that, right. It was a haphazard thing that I said, I did not realise that it was a prophet, a prophetic word at that time, because not long. So my dad passed away in January of 2016, August of 2016 was exactly 10 years to the date of me being shot. And I sat down and I wrote that book in 30 days at Godspeed. And then it was just like, after I was obedient to doing what he had called me to do, things just kind of started to take off from there.
Elyse:
Wow. That's incredible. And I love, love that you started the whole thing from getting up saying, okay, God, if you're going to wake me, then like, I'm going to throw a tantrum at you.
Tiffany:
Yes. It was not glamorous at all. Like, I'm going to be 100% honest. It was not glamorous. All I wanted was to go to sleep.
Elyse:
Yeah. Well, I would relate if I kept being woken up at three, four o'clock in the morning. That's I'm not, no, I don't function well the next day. Yeah. I love that though. How started forming these habits? And God was just, he knew that this is what I need to do to get you to do what you need to do. So, yeah. And so forming those habits of prayer and being in communion with him and giving, making that time in your life and giving him that space in your life to speak to you and stillness and journaling and all that. And so that has really formed part of your whole commanding your morning. Is that right?
Tiffany:
Yes. So I have a program that I now do. It's called the power morning. And I can tell you also very briefly, I'll tell you that even me building that program was not glamorous. So one day I was looking for a little therapy. I was frustrated and I was going to target because that's where you go when you're frustrated target. Right. And when I got there, as soon as I parked, it started a torrential downpour. So it was raining very hard and I did not have an umbrella. And so I was already on edge. And of course, you know what I did, I started praying, crying and praying that I was like, why is this happening? Why am I doing everything you told me to do? And I'm still frustrated. And I still don't feel like I'm getting it. And he said to me, use what you have.
And I was like, I've used everything. I wrote the book. I do the groups like what's happening. And it was in that moment. Like that day, when I got home, I created this workbook for the power morning. And like I said, he literally poured all of these things down into me. And I was just obedient to what he was giving me to share with other people. And what I've learned is that commanding your morning is so important because your mornings become your days and your days make up your life. So if that's not to say that if you have a quote unquote bad morning, that you can't course correct and have a great day, but again, when you don't have, when you feel like everything's out of control and you need somewhere to start to get some successes, if you can create the space and prioritise your relationship with God and your relationship with yourself is going to make all of the difference in everything else that is so big and huge that you're attempting to do.
And so the power of the power morning is actually an acronym. And so it is the P is for prayer. The O is for opening up or meditation. The w is for writing the E is for exercise and the R is for reading. And so if you, I tell people all of the time, if you're not doing anything right now to command your morning, that getting the pal will make a huge difference. So if you commit to the prayer, the meditation and the writing, it will still be transformational for you. But if you can get to the point where you are doing all of these things, first thing in the morning, or, you know, whenever you wake up, even if you don't, you know, if you work an alternative shift or something, if you can prioritise that, you will see your life transform period. I stand by it.
Elyse:
I love that, the thought of your morning becomes your day and your days make up your life. Because how true is that? And so often I think as mothers will, I know, particularly for me, if I'm waking up because of the kids, then I'm waking up in a reactive state. I'm not waking up feeling fresh and rejuvenated and renewed. Like I would. Yeah, totally. Like I would, if I woke up and gave God that time to say, do what you will, you know, I'm just going to sit here and you speak to me what, whatever you would have say. So, yeah. I, I just love that. And I think that it's so important yeah. That we set up our day from the moment we wake up and what, I can't think of a better way to do that. And, you have a course coming out around it.
Tiffany:
This course, I actually, like I said, I launched it originally in 2017. And when I first launched it, I was meeting literally at 5:00 AM with groups of women virtually for 21 days straight. And you know, a lot of people say, well, why do I have to get up at 5:00 AM? And what I always encourage people to do with the power morning is, or whatever time you're waking up originally, even if it's 8:00 AM, pull it back an hour, because you want to get up before your babies get up before your husband gets up before your work emails start coming in all of that stuff. Right. And the reality is is that when you are in a space where you need to be stretched, then even if you're not a morning person, you may need to become one to become the woman that God would have you be.
So I was doing it live for, for a while. And it was, it was very strenuous, as you can imagine, because if I had to get up at 5:00 AM to lead the ladies through it, well, I had to be prepared at 5:00 AM to lead them through it. That meant that I was getting up at at least 4 to do my own personal power morning before I did it with them. And so I've altered it a little bit to make it more feasible for everybody. So you will be able to do the the training piece of it on your own at your time. So if you want to do it at 5:00 AM in Australia, you can, and then people here in the States can do it at 5:00 AM and then we'll have a community where we can come together to work through all of the pieces and the topics and the challenges.
You are building this habit and while you are prioritising God, the content of the course is all about breaking through your trust issues. So what I learned on my journey is that there are four phases of getting to the point where you fully trust God. The first is I can't trust God. And that's where it's just like, you know, I got to do this thing on my own. Like I believe in God, but you know, I can trust them with some stuff, but not everything. Right. And then the second phase is I should trust God. So like, you know, you trust them for everything, but you're not fully tithing, you know, like you all, you do your offering, but you don't necessarily tithe because, you know, you just aren't sure. Right. And then the, the third phase is I will trust God. And this is when we get to the point where it's like the first of next month, I'll start doing XYZ.
Or at the top of the year, I'll start doing XYZ. Right. And then the final phase is I must trust God. And that's when you get to the point where you move from believing God to depending on him. And so it's a very transformational journey because it's very revelatory about you and your truths and your relationship and where you need to heal even beyond your setback so that you come back the way God intended you to. And it's transformational because you have this group of women who you are growing through this journey with. And it's just, it's, heaven-sent literally like I can't come up with, I don't know any other way to explain it. I'm still in awe of the fact that he chose me to be the vessel to even create this experience.
Elyse:
So good. So good. And I think thank God that he did, because it's such a needed thing for so many women. So I want to switch gears a little bit and talk more about maybe the woman who is listening to this. And she has just gone through a challenging season, maybe 2020 just was like the icing on the cake for her. What would you say to her about the season? And particularly maybe she's thinking, you know, could God use this? How is good going to come from this? And can God use me and this situation to do something?
Tiffany:
Oh, this is like my jam. You know, I can talk about this all day, but I'll try and keep it brief. So I was suggest three things. The first is, you know, I think when we, well, I think that 2020 is an unprecedented year with the experiences that we've all had. That said, though, I know that we all have had some great things happen in 2020, maybe not the great things that we wanted to happen, but great things nonetheless. And so I always encourage women to create a two-dollar list and a to don't list before they create a to-do list. And so, you know, because we're in this space of reflection and we're planning for the new year where we're in the mindset of like goal setting and what I need to do, but I encourage anyone who's listening. Who's in that space to think about this year holistically and write down all of the good things that you've done or that you've supported other people in doing that becomes your two-dollar list.
Because even with all of the challenges of the year or whatever has knocked you down, it wasn't all bad. Right? So taking an inventory of that and then using that as a lens to recognise, there are some things maybe that I contributed to in 2020 that I don't want to repeat. And those are the things you're going to put on your to-do list. And then with those things in mind, you can also begin to consider what you would like to see on your to-do-list for 2021. And from that you develop your to-do list. So I definitely encourage women to take that inventory. The second thing that I encourage a woman to do is really engage in some time for forgiveness. And a lot of times people want to brush past this, but it's so important. And in my opinion, there are three levels of forgiveness.
And the very first one is to forgive God, because sometimes we grow through things and, and I say, grow through, not go through, we grow through things. And if we're honest and we're willing to admit it, we get angry at God for some of the things that we have to grow through. We aren't happy. And we want to know why, and it's very taboo to share something like that. So it's, it's unlikely that we verbalise that to anyone else, but internally we know we have that struggle. So I encourage you to forgive God. I encourage you to forgive yourself. And then of course, forgiving others for anything that may have happened. You know, that's been burdening you because one of the things that I know is true for sure is that we have our own personal pandemics that make a national or international pandemic all the more worse.
And so if unforgiveness is one of your personal pandemics, regardless of what happens in 2021, you're still going to feel the impacts of what what's going on now. So forgiveness and just digging into it and giving yourself grace to work through it, because it's not something that happens overnight, but giving yourself permission to say, this is what I'm dealing with and then doing the work to address it. And then the third thing, one of the exercises, I always take my clients through when they have that specific question that you asked, and that is how can God use this? There are two questions that I ask and challenge, women to answer for themselves. The first is what have I learned from this experience? And like you encourage women to do, at least these questions can be answered as bring dumps, right? Like get it all out.
And don't despise anything that is a small lesson, you know, all of the things, get them all out. And then the second question is how has my life transformed? Because I've learned this right? And so when you do those two dumps and you see all of the things that have come out of the experience that were good, even though it hurt a little more than you would have liked, then you start to appreciate what God has planted deep inside of you. And you can begin to direct your prayers to him to not say, w why did this happen? But what do you want me to do with what I've learned? So that was a long end, but hopefully it was helpful.
Elyse:
No, that was so good. And all of that is so needed to be heard by so many women. So thank you so much. Before we go, is there anything, any last bits of encouragement or advice or a Bible verse that you'd like to leave the listeners with?
Tiffany:
So I encourage your listeners to read Isaiah 61, and it's not a long chapter, but specifically versus 1-5, really are the scriptures that have been transformational for me in this journey. And if you're not familiar, these are the scriptures that talk about how you are anointed by God and how he has called you to set the prisoners free and give people crowns of beauty instead of ashes. And it's really about the journey of rebuilding yourself and how sharing your story and your experience can impact others. And in some way, shape or form, I feel like he's called us all to do that. I mean, the Bible itself is a book full of shared experiences, trials, triumphs, and it's still impacting us two, 3000 years later. So yes, I say, read Isaiah 61 and meditate on it. And yeah, I think that it will bless you, especially in a, at the end of a year, like 2021. And I'm just, I want to say thank you again for having me. I am so grateful to have the opportunity to be here and share with you. I know how seriously you take your platform and that you pray over it. And so I don't take for granted the invitation to be here. So thank you.
Elyse:
No, thank you so much. And before we go, can you just let everyone know where they can find you on the socials and if they want to know more about this power morning course.
Tiffany:
Sure. So on any social, I am at the Tiffany Huff and my podcast is like Elyse said the bounce back blueprints, and you can learn about the power morning on my website, which is https://tiffanyhuffexperience.com/power/
Elyse:
Awesome. And I will link to all that in the show notes, but thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much, Tiffany, for coming on and sharing your story, firstly, but then also giving us so much wisdom and a beautiful insight into how we can help women going through these setbacks and challenges. So thank you so much because it has been such a blessing. I know for so many women,
Tiffany:
It's absolutely my pleasure. Thank you again for having me.